我的感恩

我的感恩

◎張韻琴　文美國‧佛羅里達州

我年輕時是個很虔誠的基督徒，記得以前看到「無相無我」的佛語，心中感到一陣平靜和讚歎，我想可能從那時起，對佛學的興趣就發芽了。另外，促使我對佛法「一往情深」的是在 1979年我回娘家探親時期，家中擺著《慧炬》佛學書刊，我一本一本都仔細閱讀過，心中有無限的嚮往及認同，我對佛法的渴求從此開始。這都是三十多年前的往事了，雖然如此我並沒有修行過，也不懂得什麼是修行。對於這方面我是完全置於腦後的。

年輕時跟一般人一樣，總是忙著念書、考試，然後賺錢、成家、立業等等，雖然一切都過得很順利，也很如願，但是觀看世間上的一切不平和不幸的總總，使我在很小的時候就隱約地有種「空虛落寞」之感，總覺得生命本身不夠滿意。我的基督教熱忱並不能給我個答覆，但是我並沒有放棄。我不斷的祈禱，皇天不負苦心人，答案回來了，原來竟是要我去修行佛法。

奇特的經歷發生了，那是在三年前，我在查尋網站中讀到　宣化上人的生平事蹟及開示，我讀得如魚得水，深深地受到徹骨銘心的感動。奇怪的很，我突然馬上決定要接受　上人的教導和鼓舞，開始認真地努力修行。自此以後，我每天早晚打坐，天天讀經、聽經，並且閱讀恆實法師的《佛教精進者的日記》後，也試著練習拜佛的法門。我對這種修行的生活真是感到無限的鼓舞及欣喜，從此日子過得非常有意義、有精神。

佛法的美好勝過世間寶，世上再也沒有任何的知識學問或書籍，可以與它相提並論，我即刻就能體會到那種法喜充滿的滋味。現在我的生活重心就是浸潤在佛法裡，世上再也沒有比這個更重要的了。

四聖諦（苦集滅道）教導我們離苦得樂。雖然欲望難斷，但是我們可以學習不去執著它，因為佛說一切苦空無常。懂得這個真理以後，我立刻對世俗的一切不再依戀。從這個教示中，我變得比較平靜知足，這是真實而見效的，非常靈驗。而從八正道中，我學習著戒、定、慧──這些是非常有道理的，我不再隨意因為討厭小蚊蟲，而動不動就揮打它們。我開始以慈悲心對待，當它們的生命被保存時，我有一種欣慰感。我也慢慢懂得要注重口業了，不再隨便言不及義，而要以慈悲和真誠為基礎，這樣會帶來平安。

藉由學習「定」，我也漸能體會佛所說的「認清事情的真相」之道，並懂得如何專注及收心，使我深深領受到那份寂靜之美。這種的平安時時都在我們的心中，那就是我們的家鄉啊！何須要外求？愈多讀聽佛法的道理，愈能使我領會佛陀的智慧。我感覺到自己的生命，正展現著通往解脫的大道中。

持續三年多下來的打坐，使我得到不可言喻的益處，也使得我愈要日日不間斷地練習。我從佛陀的教導之中，學習專注及了了分明事物的真相，這對我都有很大的幫助。現在的我，比以前平靜祥和了，我不再那麼容易激動，與人相處也和睦多了。最重要的是，我瞭解了「業」的真諦及人生的意義。

這個絕不是以盲目信仰為基礎的經歷。我擔起佛陀的挑戰，去日日奉行專注及禪坐的練習，我可以指天肯定佛陀的教誨。不但如此，我得到一種清淨、法喜，甚至於一些智慧，這是我連做夢也想不到的，而這份法喜時時刻刻發生在我的生活之中。我對佛法的感激太大了，不得不與眾人分享。

請相信我這個「重生」基督徒的感受，到現在竟能榮幸得到佛力的加持，進而成長並結出真實喜悅的花朵，實非語言所能表達的。請原諒我這種基督徒般的熱忱情操，但這是真感受啊！佛陀的信息在世上是福音中最大的福音！請拿起佛陀的精神用全心、全意、全力，精進而有信心地去參禪、修行，日夜不斷，好結果是一定會來臨的！當然，途中必定有挑戰和障礙，但我們應該欣然接受而加進努力。

我願意以此機會來見證自己學佛的體驗，並由衷地感謝　宣化上人的帶領。願我們成長，從亞當的夢中清醒過來！

二ＯＯ七年六月四日

How Grateful to Buddhism!

◎Zhang Yun Ching

I grew up as a deeply devout Christian. However, the concept of “no self” in Buddhism really intrigued me and led me to explore it more in my life. Growing up and having the opportunity to read a monthly Buddhist magazine entitled, “Wisdom Torch,” which my father subscribed, opened my thirst for Buddhism. That was a long time ago -- almost thirty years. However, I was not immediately drawn into the practice of Buddhism at that time. I was only tremendously intrigued and the thought of practicing Buddhism was placed on the back burner.

During my youth, I was too busy pursuing academic achievements, building a family, pursuing a career, busy gathering wealth and so on, just like everyone else. While those wishes have been realized, there was always the feeling of “emptiness,” even as early as in my teenage years. I saw the uncertainties, sadness, tragedies, and sufferings going on in the world and I constantly saw the unsatisfactory nature of this mortal existence. My Christian fervor has not offered answers at this point of my life, so I once again ventured into Buddha's teachings on a steady basis. The more I studied, the more my thirst for wisdom grew, so I really prayed hard about it. And Lord behold, my prayer has been gracefully answered. What was the answer? It is, "To take up the spiritual cultivation taught by the Buddha!"

Although I have steadily studied Buddhism, I never practiced it during those thirty years of exploring. What really struck me was about three years ago, when I was browsing Buddhist websites and discovered Venerable Master Hsuan Hua. I was so deeply touched by his Bodhisattva vows that I immediately decided to take cultivation seriously. I've been practicing Zen meditation faithfully ever since and have been diligently learning and studying the sutra. I also started bowing practices as inspired by learning from the stories of the “Three Steps One Bow” pilgrimage made by DM Heng Sure and his dharma protector Heng Chau.

Finding such utmost beauty in the Buddha dharma is like finding the most precious jewel. No secular knowledge, books or articles can compare whatsoever. I instantly realized what true joy meant. Now, immersing myself in the wisdom of Buddha has become the center of my life. This is the most rewarding thing you can ever do to your life.

The Four Noble Truths taught me how to not suffer anymore. Although desire itself is hard to sever, I learned not to attach to it because Buddha taught that all compound things are not permanent and have no substance. I can see its teaching clearly and therefore lose interest in worldly phenomena and in turn, detached from it. I find myself more content and relaxed just by changing my mindset because of the teachings. It works and works very well, indeed!

The Eight Fold Paths taught me about Precepts, Samadhi and Wisdom. It makes so much sense to me. I no longer smash ants or bugs just because they are annoying. Instead I use loving kindness toward them. This kind of attitude brings me happiness knowing that their lives are spared. I am more watchful of my speech and strive to stay away from idle chat and unwholesome talks. Instead, I use kindness and truth as the foundation which brings me peace.

As for Samadhi, I engage faithfully and persistently in the practice of meditation which has helped me understand Buddhist teachings of who we truly are. With practice I am able to concentrate better and taste the beauty of stillness. I realize that peace is always there with me. By listening and reading the sutras, I gain more and more insight on the wisdom of the Buddha. Ever since I embarked on the journey of the Buddha path, I have felt a kind of unfolding occurring in my life toward the goal of liberation.

I firmly believe that this tremendous growth cannot happen without the power of the vows made by the Bodhisattvas eons ago and still is going on at this very moment. The vows of the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua whose sincerity and sacrificial dedication to cross over sentient beings, have moved me so deeply that I have started cultivating seriously for the rest of my life. It has taken me thirty years since my initial encounter to start benefiting from meditation and developing a natural inclination to do more of it on a daily basis. I also listened to the advice of the Buddha to be mindful and learn to see things as they really are. These practices have brought positive results. I definitely have become more peaceful and calm. I don't react as much as I used to. I also get along better with people. Most of all, I understand the laws of Karma and how to live a meaningful life.

This is not based on blind faith. I took upon Buddha's challenge to apply mindful observation and meditation practice day in and day out, and I can verify true to the earth of what Buddha has taught. Not only that, I have gained peace, joy and even wisdom beyond my wildest dreams and it is happening every day! I can hardly contain it but have to share with everyone here.

Pardon me for this Christian like fervor but it is true. Buddha's message is the greatest Gospel of all! I bear my own witness here. Please take up Buddha's challenge, investigate and practice with all your heart, all your strength, and all your might every single day of your life, with confidence and diligence. Something positive will come to you! Of course, there will always be new challenges and obstacles but they will serve as catalysts for us to strive even harder and harder with willingness and gladness.

I want to use this opportunity to testify my own experience on my path into Buddhist practice, and my deepest gratitude to Venerable Master Hsuan Hua who took me there. May we all grow and wake up from the Adam's dream!

June 4, 2007